


abluvion

by damiwrites



Category: Free!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Emotionally Repressed, Gay, Gen, Hurt No Comfort, Implied Matsuoka Rin/Nanase Haruka, Implied Nanase Haruka/Tachibana Makoto, M/M, Multiple Pairings, One-Sided Matsuoka Rin/Nanase Haruka, Swearing, another "what if rin showed up in season 1 episode 6" au, shows up to the cliché a year late with starbucks, the drowning episode
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-01
Updated: 2014-09-01
Packaged: 2018-02-15 16:30:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,780
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2235783
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/damiwrites/pseuds/damiwrites
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>abluvion - (n.) that which is washed off. (e.g. personal inhibitions in life-or-death situations)</p><p>--</p><p>"'Haru!' a voice shrieks in a panic. Somehow, through the din of the storm, Haru hears and freezes shin-deep in the frothing waves. With a horrified start, Rin recognizes the voice as his own. Haru's turned and is staring up the beach at him with an equal amount of surprise. Too late to hide, Rin inhales sharply and jogs down into the sand.</p><p>'What do you think you are doing?!' he bellows.</p><p>'Makoto went in after Rei!' Haru shouts with a passion that makes Rin's blood run cold. Of all people to be in this ocean… There is no time to ask who the hell Rei is or why the fuck he's in the water at night either. There is only time to react. Rin sheds his shirt and shoes, and sprints towards the water with the same fervency Haru had."</p>
            </blockquote>





	abluvion

**Author's Note:**

> I have no excuse for posting this now, 'cept that I want to! This is a FREE!dom, aayyyy.

He knows he shouldn't. He knows this isn't going to help bring him closure or help him move on. Yes, he really does know this obsession is nothing close to an acceptable definition of healthy. He knows better than anyone else how much pain he's caused. (And not only to himself.) It is with complete knowledge and acceptance of his many issues he laces up his running shoes and slips past Nitori in the adjacent bed.

Cold gusts greet him excitedly as he steps out the back entrance of the lodge. He hesitates under the stoop, observing the formidable cloud bank more cautiously than he had from the stifling warmth of his room, but the idea of slinking back in defeat strengthens his resolve to clear his head. He would sleep more soundly after a lap around the resort. Making a break from his shelter before his circling thoughts suffocated him any further, he heads down the sand-strewn path at a fast clip. Goosebumps pinch his exposed arms, crisp air fills his lungs, and he begins to feel better until he reaches the main crossroad. Right takes him into the gardens and past the pool building. Left leads down past the beach, where two certain tents had been pitched earlier that day. His image of them, basking in the afternoon sun suddenly shifts into a darker, more violent dance in this storm. Rin slows jogging until he's stopped running entirely, eyeing the left branch pensively. He shivers as a rivulet of cold rain runs from his hair down the back of neck.

"They'll have moved," he mutters. "Gou has a room at the lodge." He takes three steps in the right direction, before gritting his teeth and turning around.

"They're not there. I don't care." Rin closes his mouth with an audible click as he realizes that he's not even convincing himself anymore. How truly deluded he must appear, running nowhere in the middle of the night, talking to no one.

The steady, wet slap of his steps is quickly drowned out by the much louder rhythm of the rioting ocean. Rain is falling with more serious intention now, and Rin isn't finding anymore peace in his exertion. Nameless fears crowd the edges of his mind, urging him to run faster, when finally, he rounds a bend and sets eyes on two colorful tarps writhing in the sand.

Again, the reality of what he'd actually done smacks Rin across the face. He slows his pace, physically cringing. They weren't friends anymore, this needed to stop, he needed to get a hold of himself. He would race Haru in a few weeks at prefectuals. He needed to be at his peak to obliterate him in competition, not to be waking fitfully at night to sprint down to his sleeping spot and check on him.

He's just about finished berating himself, when a figure comes tearing out of the tents. Rin freezes like a deer in headlights, but instantly realizes the other isn't charging him at him at all. He's headed for the water, stripping of his clothes in a shockingly fast manner that identifies him beyond a doubt. What the actual fuck… ? Rin watches slack-jawed in disbelief until he's has actually entered the water, when - 

"Haru!" a voice shrieks in a panic. Somehow, through the din of the storm, Haru hears and freezes shin-deep in the frothing waves. With a horrified start, Rin recognizes the voice as his own. Haru's turned and is staring up the beach at him with an equal amount of surprise. Too late to hide, Rin inhales sharply and jogs down into the sand.

"What do you think you are doing?!" he bellows.

"Makoto went in after Rei!" Haru shouts with a passion that makes Rin's blood run cold. Of all people to be in this ocean… There is no time to ask who the hell Rei is or why the fuck he's in the water at night either. There is only time to react. Rin sheds his shirt and shoes, and sprints towards the water with the same fervency Haru had.

"Rin-chan?!"

This time, it's Rin who falters and looks back. Nagisa's blonde head of curls are whipped in disarray by the wind, pink pajama cuffs weighted by wet sand. Haru's already taken off into the water with a loud splash and Rin is alight with the need to chase after, but the extra pause is worth keeping the younger boy safe and out of the water.

"Nagisa! Go get help! Somebody is stuck in a rip-tide!" he calls commandingly, taking a running plunge before Nagisa has a chance to think twice about arguing.

The water is black and violent and instantly chills him to the bones through his track pants. Even before he first breaks the surface, his nose and eyes are filled with saltwater.

"Makoto!" Haru screams from somewhere nearby. (Haru. Screams. Rin hadn't been even sure Haru was capable of so much emotion.)

"Mako!" Rin roars, working double-time to keep his head out of the water. A fresh gale of wind slaps a salty wave in his mouth, silencing him momentarily. He fights his way in Haru's direction for a few strokes and drags his head back up.

Haru's sleek black hair is practically indistinguishable from their surroundings, a stark contrast to his ghostly face and neck, swiveling in every direction.

"Rei! Makoto!"

Rin wants to swear violently, but breath is far too scarce at the moment. Instead, he reaches for Haru's arm. He jerks sharply at the contact, fixing Rin with desperate, wild eyes.

"Stay. With. Me." Rin grits through chattering teeth, tightening his slippery hold on the other boy for emphasis. "We're not drowning too."

Saltwater and surprise sting his throat in equal measure as Haru pulls free at the words, anger suddenly blazing.

"They're not drowning!" 

Rin flashes bared teeth in frustration. Haru had always been very stubborn - not to mention proud. Maybe even more so than Rin. But not matter how badly they needed to confront each other, this was the time for neither nostalgia or dick-comparing contests. Instead of pushing the envelope, he follows in Haru's wake, adopting the same head-above water crawl, diving only to avoid waves.

The effort is exhausting, and they shout themselves hoarse very quickly. Rin's definitely not imagining the growing note of hysteria in Haru's voice, but he's in no position to calm him. He's just about resolved to try anyway, when finally - finally, thank God - a familiar voice calls faintly from somewhere in the surrounding storm.

"Haru?!"

Haru reacts like a hunting dog - frozen, stock-still, ears perked. "Makoto, Rei!"

"Haruka-senpai!"

Rin doesn't have time to gag at the senpai tacked onto the back half of Haru's name before two figures fight their way into view. With renewed energy, Haru thrashes towards them. Unexpectedly, Rin feels a sudden pain in his chest at how overtly Haru emotive is about these boys. Nice to see the icy bastard was even capable of caring. Pushing his numb body the last few strokes, Rin fiercely shoves the feeling away to definitely never reflect upon. 

As he should have expected, Rei turns out to be the speedo-clad failure at their last joint practice. Rin wonders for the second time why he had gotten into water alone (let alone the ocean, at night, with a storm forecast) when the dork clearly could not swim. Who is in charge of this hot mess of a team?

Mako is clearly struggling in the water, trying to keep his calm and support Rei at the same time. Haru crowds his fellow Iwatobians anxiously, blocking Rin from sight. Mako notices Rin only as he finally joins them, jaw dropping in an undignified gape.

"Rin, what are you - "

"Doesn't matter." "Wrong place, right moment." Haru and Rin interrupt at the same time. Mako closes his mouth before he swallows any water, suspicions dawning in his eyes.

Whatever Mako's train of thought might have been, it is derailed as a jagged flare of lightning splits the sky, almost immediately followed by a clap of thunder. They all tense at the noise, Mako the most spooked of all.

"Head in!" Haru barks, leading the way. No one needs voice the obvious - the storm is clearly getting closer. The waves around them swell violently and suddenly it's all Rin can do not to be pulled backwards into the ocean. He manages a look behind him, only to see Mako and Haru lunging to save Rei from being sucked out to sea. They're mere feet away from him, but he can't even hear them shouting anymore. Lightning and thunder happen simultaneously, directly above them. Briefly, a single, surreal moment of acceptance shines like a beacon through Rin's unbridled panic as the most enormous wave he's ever seen forces them all under.

lost at sea

like father like son

He closes his eyes and loses all sense of direction in an instant, flung like a rag doll seemingly every which way. Soft flesh collides with his elbow, and he claws like a desperate animal at the exposed skin but he's dragged away before he can catch hold. Burning saltwater floods his insides when his body tries to inhale; the edges of his vision blacken and distort. An eternity later he finally re-emerges, coughing and blinded by a pelting torrent of rain. Even before he can open his eyes, he knows something is wrong when only two wheezing coughs join his.

The awful, wretched, despicable sight of Mako still fighting weakly to keep Rei's head above water confirms his fears. His old schoolmate comes to the same realization not a moment later, and turns to Rin with incoherent horror.

"Haru!" they scream in unison. Howling wind is their only response. They shout again and Mako's voice is already a sob. Rin squeezes his eyes shut, trying to shut out the world to think clearly. Rei is still weakly ejecting saltwater from his lungs. He will never make it to shore alone. Mako's emotional nature and long-standing fear of the ocean cripples them all out here. Every fiber of Rin's body is numb and exhausted, but the rational course of action is crystal clear to him. Summoning every ounce of courage and leadership qualities he's ever possessed, he raises his voice again.

"I'll find him!" Rin hollers. "You take him," he jerks his head at Rei, "to shore!" Mako opens his mouth, definitely about to protest, but Rin puts a stop to that.

"I WILL find him!" he snarls, boring holes into Mako with his eyes. It's a promise with as much conviction to rival his Olympic dream, and he hopes Mako realizes it. He leaves them without a second glance, praying Mako has the strength of mind to listen to reason.

Beginning a powerful crawl stroke through and under waves, Rin pauses every four strokes to inhale, survey, and shout. He makes good progress for a few unmeasurably long minutes, his heart sinking a little lower every time he's greeted with nothing but dark skies and even darker water.

"HARUKA!" His bellow is swallowed whole by the wind without a reply. Rin's no fool. He knows the more time passes, the less likely Haru is to be alive. Growing panic makes drawing breath that much closer to impossible, while still, no Haru surfaces. He chokes on his next inhale, slipping beneath the water, lungs seizing. Accumulated years of training keep him instinctively kicking and close to the surface even while his body and mind reel.

His only anchor is Haru. The abstract idea of Haru slowly drowning somewhere nearby. With the desperate strength of fear, he forces his breathes back into a normal pattern and carries on, inhaling every two strokes now.

Not even a minute later, uncoordinated movement catches his attention from several meters away. A brilliant, shining surge of hope shatters the tight coil in Rin's chest. He doesn't waste a single second calling out. He merely lunges forward, arms outstretched. Shaking hands clutch Rin's arms like they are the only lifelines he'll ever find, their uncoordinated kicks crash their knees and ankles together. He's trembling and breathing shallowly but alive. Rin's insides are as liquid as the ocean around them. He closes his eyes, swallowing back a sob. He hasn't cried since his first year in Australia. There's no need to anymore, Haru's alive, and Rin is so thankful - 

"M-Makoto," Haru coughs, eyes slitted in pain.

Suddenly, Rin's heart is lead in his chest again.

"No," he corrects gruffly. "It's Rin."

Haru blinks blearily. 

"Where are…" his thought trails off without a finish. Rin wraps an arm around his slender waist, forcibly keeping him afloat. Haru relinquishes complete control almost instantly, head bouncing none-to-gently against Rin's neck.

"They went back to shore," Rin tells him harshly, craning around Haru's bulk, searching for the same safety. Setting his sights on the closest gray smear in the distance, he sets off again, hauling his dazed burden along with him. Haru doesn't respond to his previous statement, so Rin assumes it answered his question. A few wordless minutes pass, and Haru is still resting heavily on him. Arms aching, Rin adjusts his grip, jostling him. His head rolls backwards, thick dark hair obscuring blue eyes, chapped lips sagging apart.

"You said you would swim for me, Haru!" Rin pants breathlessly into his ear. "So start fucking swimming!"

Haru doesn't grace him with an audible response, but his legs begin to flail, participating their pitiful attempt towards land. 

Bit by bit, a mountain peak emerges from the gray blob in front of them. A solitary tower takes shape. Boulders, scant trees and vague features define the enticingly close reality.

With exaggerated hope, Rin extends a leg deep beneath them, and is euphorically surprised to feel rough grains make contact with the back of his foot. His toes have long since lost all feeling in the freezing water, but the weight of the sand settling on top of them is an unspeakable relief. Planting both ankles firmly in the swirling sand, Rin works his arm under Haru's shoulders, a grunt escaping as they stand. Dragging Haru through the water and carrying him on land are entirely different ballgames, especially in his current state of exhaustion.

"I'm never going to let you live this down," Rin mutters mutinously at him as they stumble the last few feet up the sloping beach.

Haru says nothing, which really shouldn't surprise him, but suddenly, it strikes him that even Haru's breaths are no longer audible in his ear. For the first time, the possibility that he's injured occurs to him. A fresh, new kind of terror wipes out the last strength in his legs and they collapse unceremoniously in the surf. Scrambling to maintain balance in the shallow water, his eyes flit across Haru's pale, salt-sticky body. There are no open wounds to discover, but Haru has yet to move. Rin wipes black bangs out of his face, revealing closed eyes, no visible fluttering beneath the lids. Gingerly, he cradles Haru's head out of the water, when his fingers brush a distressingly large lump beneath tangled hair, prompting a burst of English swears. 

Rin's mind is growing frighteningly blank again. Crawling on his knees, he presses an ear firmly against his chest.

"Don't do this to me, Haru, don't you dare do this to me!" he pleads in hushed tones, over and over, like a stunted version of prayer.

It takes several seconds of patience, but he eventually feels rather than hears Haru's heart give a few, sporadic jumps. Rin sits back on his heels to expectantly hover a palm over blue lips. No exhale. No inhale. No exhale, no inhale, no, no, noNO!

Rin gasps for air as if he was still swimming. (As if accelerating his own breath will compensate for Haru's lack.) Raking trembling fingers through his unkempt hair, he wracks his panicking mind for anything he can remember on CPR, but he only idea coming into focus is the oversimplified representation from American films. It's stupid, even he knows it's under-researched and poorly portrayed, but there is nowhere else to start while precious seconds continue to tick on by. Steeling his resolve, he pinches Haru's upturned nose, closes his eyes, and presses their mouths together.

(Rin could live a thousand and one lifetimes over and never admit to it, but this was not how he'd imagined being introduced to Haruka Nanase's perpetually pouting lips.)

Haru tastes of nothing but salt; slick skin slips and glides awkwardly without purchase. It might not be romantic, but it is a tad atrocious. Rin reigns in his thoughts harshly and continues his administrations with the mental image of inflating a balloon - when abruptly, with absolutely no warning - Haru gives a huge shudder, moan muffled against Rin's mouth. Startled to pieces, Rin falls on his ass in the shallow water.

Eyes screwed tightly shut, Haru rolls instinctively into the fetal position and expels a small amount of water. Rin gapes in disbelief, frozen in place, fairly certain he'd just performed a miracle. Unconsciously, a fist drifts upwards to rub at the phantom pressure pricking his lips. 

Haru pulls himself up slowly, breathing hard. Unfocused eyes alight on Rin, and he wavers.

"Wha -" Another bout of violent coughing. "What happened?" he croaks. Almost cautiously, he touches his own chest as if the sensation of his lungs filling deflating was strange and new.

Suddenly remembering himself, Rin jerks his hand away from his mouth in a haste. His lips curl in a sneer, a transparent defense to the flush in his cheeks.

"I saved your damn life, that's what happened. You're welcome, by the way."

Haru blinks, gears turning slowly. Rin looks away, allowing them both a few gracious moments to gather their thoughts. With no more immediate peril looming, he has time to register the situation.

The storm is moving on. Thunder claps with decreasing regularity, and the lightning is but a harmless flash in the distance. He is also very, very cold. Adrenaline and fear had kept him so pumped, he hadn't even noticed how entirely numb he was. And of course, Haru should be even worse off. They needed to get moving.

Following through on that thought, Rin's gaze flits across the dismally gray beach, searching for the island's circumferential path back to the lodge. It takes several seconds, but eventually the pieces do fall into place. 

"We're on the wrong island." Haru says matter-of-factly. Rin looks sharply back to him. He seems to have finally gotten a grip, having carefully rearranged his face in its default, guarded composure.

"I can see that," Rin grunts, preparing to draw himself upright.

"What about that." His sentence is a question, but without any of the inflection. Rin follows Haru's gaze to the tower he'd seen from the water.

"That, is clearly a light house," responds Rin, with no small amount of scorn. From the distance they're sitting, the paint job is quite visible - not the mention the massive, disused beacon lens. The saltwater he'd swallowed lurches in his unhappy stomach as he stands.

Haru's scowl tightens infinitesimally. "I know. Let's shelter there."

Flicking dripping clumps of sand from his hands, Rin turns a crooked leer at him, chuckling darkly. "Had enough water, Nanase?"

Haru does not look amused (surprise, surprise,) and staggers to his feet without any assistance. They don't speak, even as they reach the base of the lighthouse. Haggard, chipped doors offer no resistance to Rin's brusque push.

The interior is not much more cozy than the exterior. Years of coastal wear 'n tear have left noticeable marks on wooden structure. Full of salt, the floor cracks and splinters beneath their weight. Sun-bleached, pastel paint is in the process of peeling away from the walls. Mounds of broken and unidentifiable furniture litter the corners.

The doors bump closed after Haru, leaving a single window of gray sky as their only light source. Neither boy moves for several heartbeats, eyes adjusting to the gloom. The rain continues to fall outside - a droning, removed patter. Rin thinks of Nitori and their dry room, Mikoshiba and their coaches discovering his absence in the morning. He grits his teeth, and folds his arms across his bare chest. Now that he's stopped moving, his cold, water-heavy track pants cling to his legs in the most unpleasant manner. He'd probably be warmer without them at this point, but then again, exposing himself to Haru was how he'd gotten himself into this mess.

He casts a low-browed look at the boy in question, who's moving cautiously to stand at the window. The flat, dull light emphasizes the plains and hollows of his face and chest in an strange way. It's the longest chance Rin's had to look at him since they were thirteen, and god... he looks old. It was difficult to reconcile the indignant child from his memory with this stern young man.

Haru glances over his shoulder as if he had been speaking his thoughts aloud. Rin swallows dryly. That strong jawline may have sprung out of nowhere, but those jaded, impossibly blue eyes are a perfect match to the pair seared in Rin's mind.

"Congratulations," Rin drawls languidly, pacing a few steps forward out of the darkness. "Puberty really pulled your cheekbones through for you."

Haru contemplates him blandly. It's a familiar dance, this, far too easy to slip back to. Toying with Haru, cat and mouse. Trying to knock him off-balance. Rin's mouth twists in a humorless smile. This was about the point where Makoto would get nervous and intervene. Rin and Haru's intensity, even as children, had always made their gentler companion jittery.

"Why were you at the beach?"

Rin's smirk sours. "The storm woke me."

"That's why you were awake. Why were you at the beach?"

"The storm woke me and I went for a walk! Why does it matter?"

Rin is strongly reminded of a cat as Haru turns abruptly away to stare back out of the window. After a pause, it becomes clear that he does not intend to speak again. Rin releases an exasperated 'tch.'

"I don't understand you."

"I don't understand you," counters Haru evenly, still absorbed with the dismal conditions outside. Rin chooses to ignore that line. Haru has never tried to understand anybody.

"Why the hell did you let Speedo-Glasses on the team?"

"...Speedo-Glasses?"

Exasperated, Rin gestures at his own face. Obviously, the only Iwatobian he doesn't know, Haru, don't play coy.

"The drowning one. Rei."

(If Haru cares about his use of the word drowning anymore, he doesn't show it.)

"Nagisa found him."

"He can't swim."

"He swims butterfly."

Rin flinches as if Haru had just slapped him across the face, but still, the other boy won't even make eye contact. Fists clenching and unclenching unconsciously, Rin sways in place. Scathing retorts bubble from his throat, burn on the tip of his tongue, then fizzle out and die unspoken on his lips.

Instead, he quietly scoffs, "Sure. I'll believe it when I see it."

Haru still doesn't look as Rin stalks haughtily across the room to sit against the wall and stare defiantly at nothing. Neither moves again for quite some time.

Eventually, the rain begins to sound less and less aggressive. In fact, the noise is positively soothing at this point. Haru hasn't moved an inch. Despite the damp cold and the stress (or perhaps because of it,) Rin begins nods off where he sits. His mind is tired. His body is so, so tired. Slowly, his head droops forward, eyelids temptingly heavy…

With a hair-raising jolt, he starts awake, smacking the back of his head against the wall. Both boys jump at the noise, Rin letting loose a low swear, hands rushing to cradle the throbbing injury. In an instant, he remembers and swivels in place, looking up at Haru from beneath low-swooping bangs.

"Haru - you - down on the beach, I felt - found a bump on your head. I forgot."

Haru mimics his pose, gingerly touching at the back of his head. The corner of his mouth twitches, probably in pain.

"I hit my head when we went under. I think on somebody's knee."

Rin moves to stand, hesitates for a millisecond, but decides to throw all caution to the wind the next.

"Let me see."

Haru frowns and takes a small step back. "It's fine."

Rin's already walking towards him, calmly, but with purpose. "You might be concussed."

"I'm fine," Haru emphasizes, glowering.

"You weren't fine an hour ago!" Rin snaps in frustration, but he stops advancing.

They stare at each other down the space.

"Let me look," repeats Rin softly.

A beat of silence.

"What do you even want from me?" Haru finally whispers in a tight, strained voice that does not belong to him.

Rin blinks hard, completely taken aback. His tentative vulnerability from a moment ago flees, replaced with indigence and incredulity. "What the fuck kind of question is that?"

"I'm tired, Rin. Your games take too much effort. What do you want from me?"

"I want to make sure you're not dying?"

"First, you wanted a relay."

"Oh for fuck's sake, Haru, don't bring - " 

"And then, a race. Now you say you want to move on, but you run past our campsite in the middle of the night and jump into the ocean to save Makoto and Rei."

"What, are you saying - are you mad at me for wanting to save your own fucking best friend?"

"No, I'm confused. You hate me, you ignore me, you challenge me, you save me; and now you're mothering me like Makoto. I don't know how to act around you, and it's too distracting."

Rin's face darkens; his voice lowers to dangerous, gravelly pitch. "You can't be serious."

Haru, in fact, looks quite serious. Rin pinches the bridge of his nose against the oncoming migraine and sighs slowly, like letting steam out of a kettle that is far too close to boiling over.

"And here is the grand difference between the two us." He gestures dramatically outward, overplaying exasperation. "I don't just decide to care or not to care about people."

"Apparently, you do," Haru retorts, cool and collected.

"No, Haru; apparently, you do!" For the first time tonight, deep, honest anger seeps into his voice, and Haru can hear it. He stiffens like a wild animal preparing for a fight. Rin sees it happen, recognizes the fear, and the tattered remains of his emotional dam splinter to pieces.

He can't help it. He's been so lonely, so confused, so helpless -- been so completely devastated on account of this frigid bastard, who still doesn't understand.

"What makes them so special, huh?" Rin is seeing red as he strides forward in a rush, forcing his way into Haru's personal space. He inhales sharply, and they're so close, Rin can feel the air being sucked away. (It's a power play, a desperate one, an old habit.) "What does Rei have that I don't? Makoto? Nagisa? What did they do to prove themselves worthy of your fucking effort, Haru?!"

The silence that follows is deafening, overwhelming meaningful. Haru smells of brine, musk, and omnipresent chlorine traces, his breathes are erratic and shallow. Rin bares teeth, pushing a few inches further. Flight or fight. Rin already knows Haru'll run. He always has in the past, already decided on Day 1 that Rin was just too much. He'll push him away as always, Rin just needs him to push!

"What?" Rin growls, taking one step closer, working every inch he has to loom. Haru has always backed off by this point, never stood for his bullshit this long, and it's making Rin uneasy. Haru isn't following the script anymore - their script. His concentration begins to slip, and he's painfully aware when his eyes falter and drop to Haru's mouth. Unwelcome, unnamed feelings spark violently; Rin's heart jackhammers in his chest. It's so loud, Haru has to hear it too, but he says nothing, says nothing, says nothing! Stupid, ridiculously blue eyes slowly stretch to the whites, and Rin can actually see the comprehension dawning. Everything is happening so quickly, he's out of control, he can't stop, he's about to do something terribly rash, or maybe Haru is, it's hard to tell at this point but -

But.

But Haru always chooses flight.

He jumps almost a whole foot backwards, panting, arms drawn defensively around himself. The thunderous momentum implodes like a supernova, leaving a breathless, bleeding still in its wake.

Dizzy, Rin remains absolutely motionless where he's been left. 

He's has never been so humiliated in his life. He wishes he was absolutely anywhere but here; he wishes he was fighting alone in the ocean again, wishes he was in his bunk listening to Nitori snore, he even wishes he was back in Australia - but most of all, he wishes he could rip this horrible, horrible new feeling right out of his body and force Haru to take it back.

Haru opens his mouth, probably to speak, but no words come out. Rin realizes he's been holding his breath, and lets it go slowly, a formidable shadow passing across his face. Without meeting Haru's eyes, without a single look back, Rin turns on his heel and leaves.

Haru doesn't follow.

The storm has passed. Sick to his stomach, Rin hollowly watches the ugliest sunrise he's ever seen from the beach. If he had cared to look, maybe he would have seen Haru watching from the window. But he doesn't look. Not even once.

The last of the clouds burn away into pink vapor by the time a dinky fishing boat slowly chugs into sight. A large amount of screaming and waving begins the second they spot him and it's more than fairly obvious who they are. Even before they've dropped anchor, several figures leap overboard and begin swimming to him. Reluctantly, Rin wades into the shallows, steeling himself for interaction.

He is utterly unsurprised when Nitori reaches him bawling his eyes out. Despite himself, a little pang of guilt strikes, imagining his naturally anxious roommate waking to find his empty bed. Awkwardly, he pats the the younger boy's head. Nitori seems to take this as an open invitation to jump him. With a sigh, Rin tolerates the hug for a moment and instantly regrets doing so when Nagisa unexpectedly joins in, tackling them all into the water with the force of his embrace. Shocked speechless, Rin flounders to sit up, still covered by the two smaller boys.

Over the loud wails of 'Riiiiiin-chaaaaan!' and 'Oh, Matsuoka-senpaaiiii!', he catches Makoto's panicked eye, and jerks his chin (the only free part of his body) up at the lighthouse.

"He's fine." The words are lead in his mouth, but Mako must not notice. He grins so widely and sincerely and so gratefully at him that Rin almost feels bad for being so bitter. (Almost.)

"Thank you! Thank you!" Makoto shouts, sprinting from the water with the energy of a golden retriever. Nagisa releases Rin, scampering to join his teammates, switching his loud laments to, "Haru-chaaaan!"

Rin takes this opportunity to peel Nitori off before Mikoshiba has to; their captain is advancing rapidly, infamous scowl on hand. The two redheads stare down wordlessly for several heartbeats, Rin trying his best to look the appropriate blend of contrite yet defiant. Uncomfortably trapped between them in the tense silence, Nitori shrinks back a step, hands flying to cover his face when a high-pitched chirp slips loose. Caught off guard, Mikoshiba snorts at the awkward noise, instantly shattering the heavy mood. No longer able to contain a broad grin, Mikoshiba yanks Rin into a gruff, one-armed hug. Rin rolls his eyes to the heavens at the unnecessary amount of physical affection, but when Mikoshiba releases him, his face is serious once more.

"We will talk," he promises in his gruff, captain voice, the tone of the word 'talk' leaving no room for doubt.

Rin stiffens again. "Yes."

Last of all, Gou brushes past Mikoshiba without sparing him a glance (to Rin's not-to-secret-relief,) long skirt hiked up to her thighs in a failed attempt keep dry.

"Big brother!" she squeals, voice catching in emotion. She makes no move to touch him, and Rin doesn't invite her to either, although he tries to soften his eyes at her. She'll understand, he reassures himself, but instead, his little sister's troubled gaze catches behind him.

Furtively, Rin glances back to see Haru enveloped by Rei, Nagisa, and Makoto in a loud display of emotion, and looks away just quickly, before they see. Gou however doesn't miss this, and her face drops even more. Rin's throat tightens. She couldn't possibly know - he'd purposefully kept her in the dark - and yet somehow, Rin couldn't shake the feeling that she knew anyway. As they embark the little boat, everybody chattering like monkeys around him, Rin resolves to find a more active way to keep her out of this mess. For all her sweet intentions, she's done more harm than good by meddling.

He's only half-listening as Makoto recounts to them his and Rei's side of the story, far more interested in keeping his back turned to Haru.

"And then - when we realized you were gone, Haru - Rin told me to bring Rei to shore and went back out for you." Reflexively, Rin throws a side-long glance at the casual use of his first name, and accidentally makes eye contact with Mako. He smiles knowingly, as if they're sharing a telepathic message. Rin arches a brow disbelievingly.

"It was very brave of him," Makoto continues softly. Blisteringly aware of Haru's silent presence a few seats away, Rin internally cringes.

"That's Rinrin, for sure! Always so bossy! Remember when you made us call you 'Leader' in elementary school?" crows Nagisa, large, honest eyes turned on Rin like searing beacons.

"N-Nagisa!" he splutters, blood rushing to his face as everyone breaks into peals of laughter. Makoto actually doubles over in his seat, but after one look at Rin's murderous expression, has the decency to try to calm himself.

"Nagisa," he breathlessly chides, but Mikoshiba interrupts him, leaning eagerly forward with a wolfish grin.

"No, no, go on!" he exclaims gleefully, "Matsuoka never talks about himself!"

"And there's a reason I don't," snaps Rin, squirming under all the scrutiny. "I'm not that bratty little kid anymore."

There's no need to check; he's sure Haru is staring, receiving his double-meaning loud and clear. Lips curled in an icy sneer, he delivers his next three words like armed torpedoes.

"I've moved on."


End file.
